Baby Steps

I am not a baby.

I am an adult woman.

I am an adult woman with teenaged children.

I am an adult woman with teenaged children and I feel like I am growing up right along with them.

The older I get, the more I find myself bumping up against the narrative that adulthood is like driving a car in cruise control – once you hit your desired speed you are all set to keep going forward.

I’ve been cruising for a while now and I’m ready to start driving again.  Okay, enough with the driving analogy. I hope you get my point.

I knew it was unrealistic to think I could build an institution overnight. But if I took baby steps, eventually it would happen. – Russell Simmons

For some people, life will be a series of decisions and circumstances that will make it look like they are climbing a ladder or walking up a hill.  Each new job title or each new degree leads them progressively upwards.

For others, life will be a continual loop of starts, stops, reinvention, and re-imagination.  Old ways and identities will crumble and out of the rubble something new will emerge.

Well, sort of.

This new thing happens through us, not in spite of us. Imagine, instead of one awkward adolescence, you have three or four. You might have to live through several bad hair phases or periods of self-inflicted wounds of fashion to find what speaks to the person you are right now.

Baby steps.

Resist the urge to crawl back to a life that no longer fits you.

Embrace being a beginner.

Ground yourself in something bigger than yourself. Let it rock and soothe the anxiety away.

Listen out for what is true…for you…on the inside.





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